It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
