As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
