You really coming over, don't trick.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
