idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
