i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
