I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
