1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
foreskin is a definite game changer
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
