Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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