haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
