if you like me you must not know who I am
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
