Don't you send me to vm
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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