would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
