i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
