sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
