can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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