She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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