We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
