I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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