I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
