don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
