Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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