ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
