Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
