No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
