I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Randomize
