This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
40s are totally the cure
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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