I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
