i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You are a genius and a whore.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
