New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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