Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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