well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
