Four minutes until I can fart!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ketchup is God's man juice
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize