It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
