just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize