If i come over, it means nothing
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
