the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
