Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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