I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize