i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
