I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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