$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
