He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
