I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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