I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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