The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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