I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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