All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
