She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
