If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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