THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
