Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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