Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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