Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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