I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
