i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
