Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think my moral compass just broke
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