Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
