yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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