I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
