I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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